just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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