I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
