$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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