Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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