you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
