how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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