God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you made out with another girl for some wings
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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