My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
