I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
