Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
