All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
They have beer where we have blood.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
