if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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