Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
