You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
