on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
