It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
