Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
