so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
