When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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