Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
