found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
