Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
