shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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