Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
