Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
