Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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