i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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