I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
