There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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