i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
it glows. i had to have it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
