I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
