his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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