guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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