I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
