stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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