Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
