Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I died a long time ago.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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