you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
