hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
