i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
