I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize