Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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