You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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