This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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