butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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