It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
