im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
