I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
