I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
