We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
