1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
