I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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