She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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