i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
