she woke up with a sticky ear
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
