If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize