im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
