I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
