My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
