I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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