I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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