i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
40s are totally the cure
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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