Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
