Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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