she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
