Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
