i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
