Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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