he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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