That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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