you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
